i give up...

it isnt worth tryin,

if i will jus end up gettin hurt....

no1 give a damn but me anywayz.

i m that worthless to always be replace with someone else?

i miss him but wat can i do if he loves someone else. .... . .

well i was suppose to go to sk0ol early bcuz i needed my fren to teach me how to do our math problems but i couldnt sleep last nite, so it t0ok me a long time to wake up n get ready for sk0ol. in math class we had a quiz but i didnt know how to solve da problems so i had to ask da teacher if i could take it next time. im so stress out.... den in chem i had more work to catch up. at recess i met w/mah frenz but all i did was stand n daydream while everywun was laughin n being so happy... in my machanical drawin class diz guy in my class was askin what happen to me n wer i have been cuz i havent been in class so many times but i juz said dat it wasnt any of his business, i felt bad sayin it but i wasnt in a g0od mood. im so behind in my drawin, everywun is starting on there final n im still startin my rough draft.... wat if i dont get to finish it??? my straight A's in that class will go down to an F. in english we had more work n i had to memorize a speech from julius ceasar.

aftersk0ol i walk w/mah frenz, mah frens l0ok so ky0ote together. den we had to seperate from dem bcuz mah sis n i walk to da library to wait for my dad. i worked on my drawin but i only got a lil done so i'll b doing dat oever da weekend to occupy myself, what a low life huh? always staying home being bored. its been a long time dat i havent went out w/mah frenz. one of dem are so mad at me bcuz im always quiet now n dat i dont talk bout my problems anymore.

*sigh* its late n i havent done hw yet. i juz woke up 30 mins ago n i bet i wont b able to sleep until it gets very late agen. aiya! wen did my life get so complicated?

enough w/mah dramas its not like if some1 reallie care to read bout wat i write anways. ... .

ders no other thing to do but smile dat im still alive rite?  dat god is always by my side no matter wat suffering i hab to go through.

----> maria

i guess this is the last time i will be writing here.

where do i start? too much things in mind and too many problems to deal with. i dont know what to do anymore. hiding my feelings inside will hurt me more, i know that i learned that from experience. how can you make these tears stop from falling? or should i ask when am i goin to stop cryin.

when am i going to stop being a FOOL?

or am i that stupid? im tired... tired  of gettin hurt... there is never a time when i can smile and having a consequence of a thousand of tears. i cant even think straight anymore. whats wrong with me? havent i learned anything that i went through before? never to love with all you heart and soul.

tears after tears......

i give up      i dont want to love anymore.

i cant handle the pain.............................................

maria